Depression

Since I came KL to study, I felt that I have become more depressed. There's less smile on my face than when I was at my hometown. It's been a year since I'm here. I was accompanied by my parent when I came here study on May last year. They came here for a week only to help me settled down my things. When my parent went back to hometown, I cried at the airport because this is the first time I'm away from my parent for so long. Scared, worried-ness, loneliness haunts me. Although I have an aunt living here, I knew that I can't rely too much on her because she has her own family too. After my parent went back, I started moving into my hostel which is Millennium Court (MC) because I was staying at my aunt's house the whole week. I thought that my hostel was going to be like an apartment but I was WRONG! It was a small, claustrophobic triple-sharing room and I have to stay there for at least 6 months due to the agreement that I've signed earlier. There's also single and double-sharing room available with different rental. Regret crossed my mind when I saw the room but there was nothing I can do. So, after staying there for 6 months, I checked out and moved into the place where I stay now.

During my stay at MC, I was so so so down. I cried on the first night cos I have no friends and I was homesick. I was so panic about how to go to campus the next morning. Moreover, I don't have the timetable of my classes. So, I called my mum and told her about my situation. I don't know that my mum will called my aunt until I heard a knocked on my door and I opened it to see a girl introducing herself as my aunt's friend's daughter and she already knew my problem. Then, I knew that my mum have seek helped from my aunt. The girl is also studying in UTAR ( the same campus as mine). But, she is in Year 2. So, she consoled me and said that she will accompany me to campus the next day. I felt lucky to have her. If not, I would have insomnia.....

The following days, weeks at MC was much better cos I knew my roommates more and have new friends who is also staying at MC. However, sometimes I would also felt depressed and miserable due to studies and the suffocating room. I can't stand staying in a small room because I've used to big room. Small room makes me feel like I'm enclosed and have limited space to move around. I just can't stand it!! I'm the type of person who will get panic or worried easily even though it's a small problem. I think that the number of times I cried here is more than the number of times I cried at home. Even now (not in MC anymore) I would also feel depressed or sad all of a sudden, without any reason. *Sigh* I wonder what's going into me these days.... Am I in depression? Who can tell me how to do? So hopeless....so torturing....

Caption: This is the picture of the room in MC. All rooms are the same size.